The power of the institution

Crossing the Line - part 17

In my second year at Oxford, I moved to live in Frewin Court.   It was the accommodation annex for Brasenose a few hundred yards from the college, just behind the busy shopping street of Cornmarket.  Frewin was slap bang in the centre of things, next to the Oxford Union. My room was smaller but infinitely more comfortable.  It had good central heating and a small shared kitchen.  I settled in well.

Nearby was the North Gate Hall, a large congregational chapel which had been given to OICCU years ago, making it the only University Christian Union in the country to have its own building.  It was huge.  The main hall could hold several hundred people and underneath was a less formal space for refreshments and fellowship.  It now houses Bill’s – a very pleasant restaurant.

I remember the Saturday morning when there was a knock on my door.  It was one of OICCU’s Executive Committee, aka ‘the Exec’ - the group of about 12 people who ran the University Christian Union.  I wondered what on earth I had done now.  After almost being sacked as a college rep the previous term, I was sure it couldn’t be good, but couldn’t work out what the problem might be.  What unwritten law had I transgressed now? 

The North Gate Hall today

To my complete surprise, he said, “Well you have probably guessed why I am here.  We would like you to be Outreach Secretary on the Exec next year.”   

My response could not have been any clearer, or more unplanned.  I fell off my chair.  Quite literally!

I went to the wrong kind of church.  A few months ago, I had been a cause of division and dissent.  I had betrayed OICCU’s Evangelical ethos not only by organising a meeting with Roman Catholics, but then also refusing to back down and call it off.  I went to OICCU but not to the whole range of weekly Bible Expositions, Evangelistic Evenings and Prayer Meetings. Why could they possibly be asking me?

When I asked that question, the answer I received painted a very different picture.  The Exec had noticed how, despite our renegade tendencies, the Christian Union in Brasenose was actually getting on with what we were supposed to be doing.  We had grown, some people had become Christians, and others had deepened their faith.  The current Outreach Sec who sat before me, had come to one of our events – a gentle mix of music, readings and personal stories which we held in one of the Lecture Rooms one evening.  He had liked what he saw (even though a Roman Catholic was one of the people who talked about her faith and sang a song – perhaps he didn’t notice!)  The Lecture Room was full.  There was a good mix of people who identified as Christians and people who did not.  That was why I was being asked to be part of the new Exec and why they wanted me to be Outreach Secretary.

Even after I had got back on my chair, I was still incredulous.  I had been looking forward to handing the college CU over to new Reps at Easter, having more time to focus on my degree and enjoy student life.  Now I was being asked to step up to something even more demanding. 

Each member of the Exec had a specific role.  There was the usual Chair, Secretary & Treasurer, but also the Prayer Secretary, Outreach Secretary, and so on.  The year ahead was an OICCU Mission year.  They were held every three years and it was a huge undertaking.  There would be a big-name speaker and around 60 missioners coming to Oxford for a week of evangelistic events.  There would be events in every college and the main University meetings could attract up to a thousand students some evenings.  The publicity alone was a major piece of work with every undergraduate in the university receiving not just a flier, but a Mission Pack and invitation. The Outreach Secretary was not in charge of the whole thing, but was expected to play a big part in the planning, preparation and execution.  Quite apart from the shock I was feeling, I was also aware of the huge commitment which was being asked of me.  I said I needed time to think about it.

I went a talked to other people about it, mostly people who didn’t like OICCU.  I talked to Jonathan, my co-rep in Brasenose – he really didn’t like OCCU.  I spoke to Jeffrey John, my college Chaplain who had decidedly mixed views about OICCU.  I went to see Philip Ursell, the Principle of Pusey House.  Surely they would tell me what a cracked-pot idea this was?  The problem was, they all thought I should do it!

So with some trepidation I said yes and a whole new challenge began.

It wasn’t long before my trepidation was proved right.  In the lead up to our hand-over at Easter, the new Exec was brought together for training and preparation.

I met my fellow Exec members.  We were a mixed bag of people, from very formal and earnest to people who were more like me, but the centre of gravity was definitely at the conservative, traditional end of evangelicalism.  Some were so Puritan in their faith (and I mean this in a historical context not as a dismissive comment) that there was no church in Oxford where they felt at home.  Every Sunday they travelled several miles out of Oxford to find a church where they felt comfortable.  Given the huge concentration and diversity of churches there was in Oxford, I found this astonishing.

Then we were taken away with the new Cambridge Exec for a weekend of training by UCCF (the University and Colleges Christian Fellowship).  UCCF are a national evangelical charity which support Christian Unions across the country and they had two travelling secretaries who were tasked with supporting Oxford and Cambridge in particular.  As well as offering encouragement and advice, they were also there to ensure we didn’t stray from the straight and narrow.

All in all, the training boiled down to understanding both the ‘opportunity’ and the ‘responsibility’ which we had been given. 

The ‘opportunity’ was presented like this.  The future leaders of this country are among your fellow students at Oxford and Cambridge; politicians, scientists, bankers and business leaders.  If we can ‘win them for Christ’ now, then in 30 years’ time Britain will be a more Christian country. 

Immediately I felt uncomfortable, but it took me a while to realise why.  Today I would now have no difficulty in expressing my discomfort.  The idea of targeting people for their future worth in the same way that trickle-down economics favours the rich in the hope of it tickling down to the poor is just plain wrong.  The disconnect with Jesus’ opening sermon is startling, where he pledged his ministry to the poor and the powerless, not the cream of the crop.  In my eyes, the Christian faith has always been the best offer ever made to everyone, not some kind of web to spin for strategic or political goals.

On the other hand, it was so tempting.  We were being offered a chance to change the world!  To look at some great leaders in years to come and say, “They became Christians at Oxford when we ran OICCU!”. 

If that was the opportunity, the ‘responsibility’ we were given was even more insidious.  Right at the start of our year we were reminded forcefully that we were only being entrusted with OICCU for a season.  We were being entrusted with an old and distinctive organisation which had brought great blessings to many over the years   Our primary responsibility was to ensure that we handed it on to the next Exec in good shape and faithful to this long tradition.  We were not there to innovate.  We were not there to rock the boat.  We were part of a continuum to uphold the traditions of the institution we had been entrusted with.

The effect of this approach can be very powerful, especially on people who are new in role and enthusiastic to do a good job.  It can change your whole outlook to a kind of ‘not on my watch’ mentality which I have since observed numerous times in the Church.

I have seen this in conflict with the Church Commissioners who can become so wedded to their investments on behalf of the Church of England, that the purpose and ideals for which the money is raised can become secondary – or lost altogether.

I saw this in a meeting about sexuality with Rowan Williams when he was Archbishop of Canterbury.  We should have been pushing at an open door as he had gone on the record many times before he was Archbishop in support of inclusion for LGBT people in the Church.  What we heard however was very different, as he talked about the office of Archbishop in terms of being ‘the present occupant of the Chair of St Augustine.’  

He talked of the weight of history and responsibility which the occupant of that Chair carries.  He talked about the need to preserve what had been entrusted to him.  He told us that what he thought (as an individual) was irrelevant because his job as Archbishop was to hold together the great responsibility which the occupant of the Chair of St Augustine is given.  We had hoped to meet with an anointed leader for the future - instead we found a guardian of the past.  We had met someone who had been called to leadership because of his great gifts – but then neutered by the power of the institution which had called him.  

The same thing happened to us in our year as the Exec of OICCU. 

I am ashamed to say that we un-invited Michael Green to be a speaker because he refused to sign the UCCF Doctrinal Basis – the Evangelical touch-stone which all CU members and speakers had to sign.  It wasn’t that he disagreed with anything in it but rather he felt, as someone entrusted and licensed by the Church to preach, that he shouldn’t have to sign this piece of paper every time he came to speak.  We black-balled one of the most gifted evangelists in the country on a technicality because we believed that the institution had to be upheld at all costs. 

We had been institutionalised.

There were other ridiculous policies which the Exec adopted during our year.  On a majority vote the Exec decreed that there would be no music or drama at the main Mission events because of a mantra that says, “it is by the preaching of the Word that people are saved and nothing else”.  This was in spite of the fact that the previous Exec had already booked two professional Christian musicians for the whole week. I hope it goes without saying that I didn’t vote for this one, especially as I then had to work out what we were going to use their skills!

My other worry, which quickly became realised, was that the work load was immense.  Just the weekly meetings I had to go to were enough to fill a diary.  First was the Exec meeting each week which could last several hours.  Then there was the Exec prayer meeting at 9am every Saturday morning – which I am sure was designed to mess up any student night life we might aspire to!  There were the regular OICCU meetings for Bible exposition on Saturday night and Evangelistic address on Sunday night.  I had regular Mission Planning meetings to attend and ran my own Outreach group who delivered events around the University.  In the lead up to the Mission, I went and spoke to over half of the 30 college Christian Unions to help them prepare.  The list went on and on.

The Catholic Chaplaincy Chapel

I also made my own life even more busy.  Still coming across prejudice against Roman Catholics, I heard that the University Catholic Chaplaincy were short of a guitarist at the weekly Folk Mass and was asked if I would help.  Wanting to reach out a hand of friendship, I immediately said yes.  I’m sure it was the right thing to do but when I added everything together, I worked out that I was involved in Christian ministry for over 45 hours every week – and then there was a degree to study for.

There were some funny moments too.

I was amused by a very serious visit I received from our UCCF Traveling Secretaries one Saturday morning (why do they always pick Saturday mornings?)  They had been told that I was planning to share a student house with ‘non-Christians’ (their words) and had come to talk me out of it.  When they learned that some of my housemates would be women, they were even more shocked and asked me what sort of a witness this would be to other Christian Union members.  Wouldn’t it lead them astray?  From somewhere in my bleary Saturday morning head, I responded that the problem most Christian Union members had was that they didn’t have any ‘non-Christian’ friends, let alone friends who would trust them enough to share a house with them.  Anyway, I was the Outreach Secretary, so isn’t that exactly the kind of thing I should be modelling?  They left disappointed but never came back for another go.

Then there was the morning when I arrived at the Exec morning prayer meeting, visibly tired and pale.  I was asked if I was ok.  When I said I had been helping with an all-night prayer vigil, there were nods of approval until I mentioned that it was at the Roman Catholic Chaplaincy.  There followed a stony silence until someone changed the subject.  I just smiled.

On another occasion, I was taking part in the Corpus Christi procession of the Blessed Sacrament from Mary Mags Church to Pusey House, and saw some other members of the Exec in a group of protesters objecting to such idolatrous behaviour!  I waved at them but they pretended not to see me.

I learned new skills too, like finding myself having to promote and organise a concert with Christian pianist and composer, Adrian Snell.  It was booked by the last Exec but then I had to make it happen.  This meant advertising, ticketing, sales, as well as the concert itself and making sure it broke even.  As a published artist with a string of albums to his name he didn’t come cheap, but the icing on the cake was when he informed me that he would need a concert grand piano for the event.  Where was I going to get a concert grand for one night?  Amazingly (to me) I discovered that it is possible at a price!  It was delivered from London two days before the concert, tuned the day before the concert when it had acclimatised to its new surroundings, and was collected the morning after.  I think it cost more than the artist’s fee!  Fortunately we sold out of tickets and the place was packed, so we did break even.

Then there were the two musicians who had been booked for the Mission week – Martyn Joseph and Barry Crompton.  As they couldn’t now sing at the main events, I got a small group together who arranged for each of them to go to different colleges each day.  They played and sang in college bars and Christian Union meetings.  For this we needed to hire portable lighting rigs and PAs as well a finding some way of transporting them around.  We were kindly offered use of a vehicle and found it was a long wheelbase Land Rover - the old indestructible type.  It felt like overkill until on the second night of the mission when temperatures plummeted and Oxford was covered with snow. This quickly turned into packed ice on the college back-lanes where we had to deliver the equipment.  I remember praying, “Ok God, now I understand – you knew what we would need!”

On balance, I am glad I did it.  I was able to be a visible alternative to the silo mentality that afflicted so many of the Christian organisations I encountered.   I do regret falling for the institutionalising power of OICCU and I became determined never to allow myself to be suckered like that again.  It was a good lesson to learn and one which would need recalling numerous times in the ministry God was calling me to.  It also taught me to recognise when others were falling for it.

The Church is not an institution.  It is the living, breathing, Body of Christ.  When it allows itself to become anything less, it ceases to be the dynamic, revolutionary, saving grace that the world needs.  It simply becomes another self-interest group.  However uncomfortable it is for those who refuse to be conformed, and however uncomfortable that becomes for the institutional church, their voice and actions are vital in the continual renewal and recreation that the Church needs. 

This was a lesson that I would not forget.

Next week, something a little lighter – practical jokes and student humour.  The things that make life fun…!

Click here for part 18 - Runcie and Palin

Click here for and Introduction to Crossing the Line

Seconds out... Round 2

Crossing the Line - part 16

I went back to Oxford with a plan.

In college, I would go to the Christian Union every Wednesday and the Chapel for the main Communion service each week, which was on a Saturday.  In Oxford more widely, I would go to OICCU (pronounced Oy-Cue) and more importantly, I would find a church that suited me.  There was nothing wrong with St Aldates, the church I went to in my first term.  It was full every Sunday with lively worship and world class preaching, but it wasn’t me. 

I started the term by attending a different church each week.  I went to student churches whose ministry revolved around attracting and meeting the needs of students.  I went to local parish churches which were much more like what I was used to at home.  I went to quirky churches who didn’t really care who came – they just did their thing.  I prayed as I went along and in the end, my decision surprised me.

Worship at Pusey House

Pusey House was a shrine to the Oxford Movement, which had attempted to reshape the Church of England in a more catholic direction in the Victorian era.  There was a team of priests there who celebrated all that was good about an Anglo-Catholic approach to worship and theology.  The congregation was small on a Sunday, often only around 40 or so people.  They had a choir which sang anthems and provided the backbone for much of the congregational singing.  Sermons were short, often by guest preachers, some of whom were famous in the Anglican world.  The use of incense was profuse, with one thurifer feeling he had not done his job if he didn’t set off the fire alarms in the college beyond.  Three priests would robe in elaborate vestments and process surrounded by a phalanx of servers and acolytes.  They celebrated communion with their backs to the congregation.  Everything was very formal, choreographed to perfection, and woe betide any server who put a foot out of place.  It was definitely not charismatic or evangelical and yet something spoke to me in the worship there.

Being in the congregation there was more about being than doing.  However you felt, the worship went on around you, enveloping you in God’s presence like sinking into a deep luxurious cushion.  So much of my busy life was about doing rather than being and this was the balance I needed.  I didn’t have to be enthusiastic, engaged, or even sing if I didn’t want to.  I could simply go and be carried along by a river of prayer and sacrament.

Some of my friends in the Christian Union were surprised by this decision.  Most of the people I was getting to know in OICCU were shocked, but that was ok.  I was not conforming to what was expected.  I could be at OICCU on a Saturday night for the main Bible Exposition of the week and in Pusey House on Sunday morning for High Mass.  I was learning to cross lines and to inhabit both spaces, whatever they thought of each other.

There were also others in college who were attracted to Pusey House.  There were two Jonathans in the same year as me in Brasenose, who were also involved in the Chapel and Christian Union in college and they began to worship at Pusey House.  One became the Sacristan there, living above the chapel and providing the practical logistics for the daily services.  We became prayer partners, meeting to pray for each other every week or so.  The other Jonathan … well that’s the next part of the story.

Then towards the end of my second term, there came a complete surprise.  Each college had two Christian Union leaders and they were appointed by OICCU.  Technically they were the ‘OICCU Reps’ in each college, although the reality was a little more complex.  Our reps needed to find their successors, and have them approved.  To our astonishment, they invited Jonathan and me to take on the role and lead the CU in college for 3 terms, starting after Easter.  Jonathan was a Methodist by upbringing but was definitely discovering a more Catholic spirituality at Oxford.  I can’t remember who we talked to before agreeing to do it, but we accepted the invitation.  OICCU didn’t usually have college reps who worshipped at Pusey House.

Brasenose College Chapel

Our first term was spent largely delivering the programme that our predecessors had planned but we did began meeting with our college chaplain, Jeffrey John, for croissants and pain au chocolate after early morning communion once a week to foster a closer relationship between the CU and the Chapel. 

In the summer break, Jonathan and I met together to plan the term ahead.  Independently, we both came with the same Bible verses in our minds, from John’s gospel where Jesus is praying for all believers before his betrayal and crucifixion.  After praying for his disciples, he continues,

“My prayer is not for them alone.  I pray also for all those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (John 17:20-21)

We both took this to heart, and built a programme for the term around these verses.

When we got back to college, another surprise greeted us. The Christian Union and the Roman Catholic Society had always been a bit tetchy with each other.   The RC Society liked drinking, enjoying life and not bothering anyone else; the CU liked to appear holy, earnest and evangelistic.  There was very little overlap between the two, but now a new RC Committee had been elected with a more open attitude.  In particular, there was Sarah, who was a devout Roman Catholic (alongside enjoying life, a drink and not bothering anyone else).  Sarah also came to Chapel & CU and was now a leading member of this new committee.

Sarah made the suggestion that we should have a joint Christian Union/Roman Catholic meeting in college to set aside any previous animosity and meet each other as equals.  It was a wonderful opportunity and we began to plan the meeting.  We agreed that our college chaplain, Jeffrey John would be a suitable speaker, respected by both groups.  We set a date and started to advertise it.  That is when the shit really began to hit the fan – and in case you are wondering, that really is the only adequate way to express what happened next.

OICCU's HQ - The North Gate Hall

I foolishly mentioned our joint meeting at an OICCU prayer morning, expecting at least some understanding of why this was a good thing.  Quite the opposite!  At the end of prayers, I was pulled aside by members of OICCU’s Executive Committee to tell me why it was a bad idea.  Things quickly went from bad to worse.  After the next OICCU committee meeting, Jonathan and I were told that the joint meeting could not happen; that it would compromise the clear Evangelical identity of OICCU; that we had to cancel it.

When we said ‘no’ the response was equally swift.  If the meeting went ahead, we would be sacked as OICCU Reps in Brasenose and other reps would be appointed to lead the CU in college. 

We were astonished.  So were others. 

Members of the CU in Brasenose started to say that if they sacked us, it didn’t matter who OICCU appointed, we would carry on as before.  We started to get messages of support from some OICCU Reps in other colleges, saying that if we were sacked, they would resign, potentially taking their college Christian Unions with them.  It was all getting out of hand.

Jonathan and I knew that we couldn’t cancel the meeting, even if we wanted to.  The damage if cancelled would create a greater divide than the fracture we were trying to mend.  It would send all the wrong signals to our Roman Catholic brothers and sisters and further entrench divisions.  For me, this epitomised everything that I had come to hate in my first term and had decided to challenge.

I also recognised that escalating confrontation and further division was not the way forward either.  I began a kind of negotiation with OICCU.  There were some reasonable people on the Exec and we began to explore a way forward.  Eventually after a great deal of shuttle diplomacy, a compromise was agreed.  OICCU would not take action if we renamed the meeting with the snappy title “A meeting for all Christians in college organised by the leaders of the CU and the Roman Catholic Society”.

It was a fudge of course.  OICCU could then say it wasn’t a ‘joint meeting’ and we could go ahead as planned.  The posters were already out around college and the date was only a few days away, so in practise this simply meant me writing the ‘snappy title’ on the blackboard in the porter’s lodge which announced events on college.

The evening went ahead and was a great success.  Some of the old prejudices from each group were challenged or melted away.  Jeffrey John spoke well and we prayed together before enjoying a glass or two of wine together.

Why should something like this be so hard?  I still don’t know the answer to that, except that it usually happens when people become too religious to the exclusion of others.  I find this particularly annoying because it is the opposite of what I read about Jesus.  He constantly crossed the lines of control which criss-crossed his world. Eating and drinking with sinners; calling nationalist zealots and traitors (tax collectors) to be among his closest friends. Going the Pharisee’s house but then letting a prostitute wash his feet with her tears to the disgust of his host.  Healing the centurion’s servant, even though he was part of the occupying army.  Overturning the tables of the free-market capitalists in the Temple.  Talking to the Samaritan woman at the well, breaking 2 taboos in one go.  Indeed, shaming his Jewish brothers and sisters with the story of the good Samaritan who does what their religious and political icons failed to do.  I could go on.

Standing up to such sectarianism can be difficult.  In some places in the world it can put you at risk of violence or even death, but then Christians do follow the man who gave his own life to bring others peace.

Round 2 had been fought and won – but there was more to come.

Click here for part 17 - The power of the institution

Click here for an Introduction to Crossing the Line

The Power behind the Throne

There is a throne in Canterbury Cathedral called the Chair of St Augustine.

It is the chair on which the new Archbishop of Canterbury will be seated when he begins his ministry.  Named after the first Archbishop of Canterbury, it conveys the authority and responsibilities of the role to the new Archbishop and the Anglican Church.  It is an ancient throne, one of oldest in existence, and when the new Archbishop is seated upon it, the Church of England will have a new leader.

I first became aware of its power some years ago when I was part of a small group who went to talk to Rowan Williams about the mess the church has got itself into on sexuality.  We met in the Archbishop in Lambeth Palace.  We met him in the hope that we could persuade him to be more proactive in promoting a new spirit of openness.  We met him hoping to re-awaken those things which he knew to be true about the gift of God at work in people of the same sex who love each other.

We should have been pushing at an open door.  Rowan Williams had gone on the record many times before he was appointed Archbishop of Canterbury in support of greater openness, acceptance and inclusion. 

But as our conversation developed, it became clear that no such commitment would be forthcoming.  Time and time again, he referred to his role as the present occupant of the Chair of St Augustine.  He talked of the weight of history and responsibility which the occupant of that Chair carries.  He talked about the need to preserve what he had been given – what had been entrusted to him.  He talked about his role as Archbishop in terms of being a guardian.  He told us that what he thought (as an individual) was irrelevant because his job as Archbishop was to hold together the great responsibility which the occupant of the Seat of St Augustine is given.

Our hearts sank.  We had hoped to meet with an anointed leader for the future - instead we found a guardian of the past.  We had met someone who had been called to leadership because of his great gifts – but then neutered by the power of the institution which had called him – the power behind the throne.

I have seen it before…

I saw it at work among the Church Commissioners when fighting to preserve affordable social housing in the Octavia Hill Estates which they owned and managed.  When I met them as individuals, I met thoughtful genuine Christians keen to listen and engage.  But when I met them as an institution, entrusted only with maximising profits, a very different persona emerged.  The power of the institution had overtaken them – they had become ‘institutionalised’ – only able to act in the way which was expected of them, putting money first and people second.

I have also experienced the corrupting power of the institution at first hand - the subtle pressure to behave in a particular way contrary to personal conviction.  I experienced it when I was a member of the OICCU Exec – the committee which ran the Oxford University Christian Union.  I was asked to take on the role of Outreach Secretary – to encourage and enable evangelism.  I came full of hope for what we might be able to do together – with fresh ideas, hopes and expectations, but I was naïve about the power of the institution.

Before we started our work, we were all taken away for the weekend by UCCF to be trained for the vital role we had been given.  We were reminded that we were being entrusted with a weighty responsibility – the continuation of many years of faithful evangelical witness to the University.  We were reminded of the tools we were to work with – the Bible and the Doctrinal Basis.  We were told that if we did our job properly, we would ensure that the next generation of leaders in the UK were Evangelical Christians who would, in turn, ensure that we continued to be a Christian Country (what a pretentious heresy that was!)  Our role was not to bring innovation or change – it was to continue the work of those who had been before and to defend OICCU against error and compromise.

And I have to say that I was taken in.  The criteria for our decisions became not ‘what seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us’ (Acts 15:28)  It was to do what was expected of us.

I remember the moment when this dawned on me.

It was when we voted to revoke an invitation to one of the most gifted and fruitful evangelists in Oxford - Canon Michael Green – because he would not sign our Doctrinal Basis of Faith.  His preaching had brought many hundreds of students in Oxford to faith in Christ.   He went on to be Professor of Evangelism at Regents College Vancouver, and came back to lead the Archbishops Springboard for Evangelism.  He wrote over 50 books on Christian apologetics and evangelism, but he wasn’t good enough to speak at our precious Christian Union because he would not conform himself to the expectations of our institution.

We had allowed ourselves to become institutionalised.

As the Crown Nominations Commission meets this week to decide who the next Archbishop of Canterbury will be, I can honestly say that I don’t know who should be appointed.  But unless it is someone who is strong enough to resist the power of the institution, I am also tempted to say that it doesn’t really matter.

What we need is an Archbishop who is courageous enough to lead us in the way of Christ. 

Jesus was no defender of the institution.  He refused to be boxed in, channelled or handled.  His concern was to bring new life – not preserve old structures, and he would not be manipulated into meeting the expectations of others.

And that is the Archbishop I am praying for…